Everyone thinks that living as an expat is this incredibly glamorous life, filled with nothing but constant adventures and new experiences. And while it would be easy to portray that, especially with Instagram and socials that allow people to only put their ideal life forward, it’s not always true. Especially this first year, for every new adventure we have had, we have missed something. It is really easy to be wrapped up in all of these new experiences and then you see photos of your friends (squad, crew, gang, insert trendy new word that I’m not sure how to use correctly) and instantly you feel left out. It’s stupid because of course life is going to continue without you but seeing it plastered all over the internet just brings it all up. 

The best advice I have ever been given was by a fellow expat, who said ‘moving overseas is the best thing you can do for yourself. You gain strength and confidence and realize some people in your life are meant to be left behind. This is your life, not theirs.’ 

We don’t view our move to Germany as a temporary one. It’s temporary in the sense of maybe in 5 years we will pack up and move again. But not temporary in the sense that we have no intention of moving back and living in Aus. It’s a stepping stone to see what else is there and the more countries we can live in and visit, the more we feel like we have done life. 

Because of that, I think goodbyes are getting harder. We never really know when or if we are going to see people again. Moving always makes you reevaluate your friends, you lose contact with people you thought you never would and you strengthen bonds you thought were broken.  You connect with people you haven’t spoken to in years and you see everyone’s true colors. Because of this, we are constantly labeled as ‘selfish’ for having no intention of returning. It is any more selfish to expect us to return at the drop of a hat but not willing to visit us? Flights from Frankfurt Melbourne return are the same as Melbourne Frankfurt return but that’s a discussion for a later time. 

Despite having hit our ‘survived 1 year in Deutschland’ and holding permanent residency for the foreseeable future, I still wouldn’t consider myself a German resident. Despite the paperwork to the contrary, I don’t feel like one. I can’t vote in German elections as I’m not a citizen yet if I live overseas for more than five years, I apparently can’t vote in Australia despite being a citizen. Does that make me any less of an Australian? Are other nationalities similar with their rules and regulations? Should we be going back more often than we intend, would that make us more ‘Australian?’

I was flying home from Abu Dhabi and sitting in the ‘premium plaza lounge’ (thanks Brother) with 3 hours until we could board. Andrew sat, nose in tablet so I started chatting to a couple at the bar and naturally ‘where are you from and where are you headed’ comes up. 

‘Oh I’m from Australia and I’m going home’ I replied to the man and he tries to shoves a bowl of peanuts in his mouth. 

‘Where in Australia are you flying back to?’ his wife asks with that look we all know too well of oh, you are incredibly embarrassing, silent face palm.  

‘Oh I don’t live in Australia, I live in Germany’ I replied it realizing the confusing conveyed with such a simple introductory question. 

It took me a while to refer to Germany as ‘home’ instead of Melbourne as ‘home’. Surely I’m not the only person who has this? Maybe with time it’ll become more natural. Maybe once ties are strengthened more in Germany and you feel less like a long holiday, it becomes easier. Maybe it’ll get harder the longer we are away. Maybe we should just pack up and become gypsies and live with our entire belongings on our back in search of a place called ‘home’

Only time will tell. 

Much love, 

J x